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4.04.2005

 

Keratin, closing in

There are a repulsive number of clipped fingernails on the floor surrounding my workstation. I would love to take the blame for all of it, if only to not be so disgusted, but this unit is shared with other shifts. Surely these can't be all mine then....can they? You could build a rhinocerous out of all this keratin, and you should because they are dying out as we speak due to embarassment leftover from when Jim Carrey came out of the ass of a fake rhino in Ace Venture 2. Sure, we all thought it was funny, but nature's steely bicorns lost the will to live. Much like Ricardo Monteban after Spy Kids #whateveritscrapanywayandyourkidsresentyouforit.

The Pope is dead too. Did you know? Next on the list: Falwell. All that energetic preaching can't be good for you blood pressure, fatman. Pac and Biggie are gonna cornhole you once you get past the pearly gates, you know, and God won't do anything about it. He loved the movie Poetic Justice.

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