<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d11903143\x26blogName\x3dLacking+Rhyme+and+Reason\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://phantomtollbooth.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://phantomtollbooth.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-6258411686423120118', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>


Yesterday's entry forgone due to severe e-bay fixation. It's not that I need a new pair of jeans, it's just that I am obsessed with finding a really expensive pair for dirt cheap. And once you sift through the thousands of knock-offs from Thailand the pickings are pretty slim. Then some douche will bid on it 30 seconds before the auction ends when you have been sitting there waiting on it for hours and hours. It's not his fault you're a loser, but they should still give you his address in case you want to settle your differences like traditional gentlemen, i.e. chainsaw duel at dawn.

It is the work environment on the weekends that does it to me. Sitting there alone in a windowless room with hundreds of machines, the consumer instinct really takes over. It is something to do that I can focus all my attention on and not think about how my brain feels like it is being sucked dry from EMF. If advertising companies were smart they would play to this sort of thing, even design occasions for it to occur. Just find a way to trap someone in a room alone with nothing but your website and their credit card, and you will rake in the profit. You may have to wait through the first three hours, but after that you might as well stand there with your dollar sign bag open and ready.

The same thing happens to my friend Kris. He spends a lot of time in the hospital, and while he is sitting there, drugged to the gills, he watches infomercials. He has purchased more from infomercials in the last month than all the people I know have in their entire lives...combined. He does it while he is home too, because morphine can cause insomnia, ironic, no? He bought four pairs of Doc Marten's because the deal was so good, and by good I mean around $200. He hasn't even discovered QVC yet, and God help him if he ever does. He will have no room in between his jerky maker and "wrold's fastes food processor" for his decorative crystal and cubic zirconia dancing circus bear figurine.

Thought you adspies out there should know. It will just take a company with enough balls to try it. Divide and conquer. Isolation is the first step to brainwashing.

I should know. Six hours and a pair of dress shoes later, and still no jeans. Although now it doesn't seem important at all. I needed the shoes because a dog ate my other ones, but I have lots of jeans, some I don't even wear that need to go back into the trhift store ciculation. What I should be doing instead is buying parts for my lowrider bike...another result of the isolation effect, but not one that I regret. It is only the first hour. Give it time and I will start wondering if I can find argyle socks for the low, and then that will lead to ties/suits/tuxedoes/furcoats. It almost escalates exponentially. And once it starts I can't stop myself till I leave this place. Work is an enabler.

Hi, I am me, and I am an addict.


Bunny Mcintosh
Kyle Weekend
Midnight Mailman
Seymore and Dos Boheinde
Patrick Drury
Squirrel Power
Jay V
Etienne Aida
Jason Sho Green
The Onion
Instant Message
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com