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Whenever it rains things seem more haunted, more full of stories and ghosts. And if you ever stop to think about it haunting is really just history. It's the history of something making itself present. Ghosts are the past unwilling to be forgotten. Nothing inherently terrifying in that, so perhaps we're just scared of history itself. It's too frightening to think that the past won't stay behind us, that is will force itself once again into the present. The rain must wash away something more than the dust in the joints of the world. It seems to wash away some of the protective layers that we imagine for the collective life we lead. It brings us a few inches closer to the truths that we try to avoid. The thing about hauntings is that they always have to happen inside you to have any real effect or meaning. Ghosts are just memories until someone is there to be frightened by them. Of course this is all just subtle metaphor for the most part. Spirits and ectoplasm etc are not the subject here. The real subject is memories and the rain, and why those two things are so closely tied together...at least in my life. The sun draws you out, bott physically and mentally, while the rain takes you in. I can feel it coming in my bones as much as I can the chill of old memories that refuse to be forgotten. Particles travel better through liquids like water than a gas like air. Smells are stronger, usually of copper and dirt and green things growing; the light is sharper, and everything glistens and glows with a gentle, sad aura. Could it be that the thoughts of thousands, the dreams and rememberances and events of billions of lives lived, all still floating around, are coming that much easier across the void between each person. I can never tell if I make the rain this way or if it makes me. But I can feel the world being just a step closer, a proximity that makes me colder and more anxious. No one ever said that the past was benign, and I have no reasons to think that it would be. I think it is able to lacerate as much as it is able to mend. The internality of it makes the fear so sharp. But the haunting has to come from inside, so we all have something different to fear. The rain just makes it a little more apparent to everyone else that we're all built of such things. That unity can be more frightening than anything else.


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