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7.10.2005

 
In fairy tales it's always the seventh son of the seventh son who makes the name for himself as a hero/savior/all around nice guy. What about the other six sons? They all have to go out and get regular jobs. Some of them go to college, get a degree. At least one will study something that interests him rather than something that will earn him the most money. He'll end up with high hopes and the realization that eating isn't free. Not only that but he needs insurance and gas money and rent and thousands of dollars worth of various other necessities for the modern world. All six will face that. The seventh won't have to because his good luck and geniality will bring him all the wealth he would ever need, and it won't even be very important to him. Of course it isn't, because he didn't have to work very hard to get it anyway. The other six brothers might want to devote some of their time to charities and samaritanism but won't have the time because they are mostly unemployed in such a small job market and with so little experience in the working world. Sure they have free time for philanthropy, but they have to use it to find a dead end minimum wage job that they will barely get even with their $50,000 college degrees. Various kinds of depression will probably set in from their dissatisfaction with their jobs. They will want very badly to be satisfied with just being alive and the wonder that that entails, but they won't have time to experience the wonder because of mounting credit debt. The Seventh is happily retired at a young age with a family that most envy. The other six struggle to maintain pleasant marriages just so that their children can grow up mildly happy, if they get married at all. And as much as this is a bitter existence the six brothers will have one thing, and they will share it even with the seventh, that will help them to survive and scrape by and be at least a little bit satisfied with breathing: they will have each other. They will have a support system of people who care about them and have their interests in mind even while trying to take care of themselves individually. Most of all: people who will listen.

I have had a job on the weekends for well over a year now. Every Saturday and Sunday I go in and sit from 4-midnight. And yet almost every week one of my friends will ask me what my plans are for the weekend, or invite me to some party or barbecue. It bothered me for a while because I thought that no one was actually paying any attention to me. Then I just convinced myself that it was good that they were inviting me, that they wanted me there at all. Recently I quit calling people to ask them what they were doing. Let them call me, I thought. My phone never rang. I have been unemployed now for close to two months. I eat approximately $30 worth of food a week, most of which is peanut butter and bread. I pay my bills on time, always. I have exhausted myself everyday looking for a job. Everyone that is connected with my circle of friends knows this, or at least I thought that they did. I have surely said enough about it over the last month or so. There is no summer vacation for me. I cannot afford to party it up with everyone else, and even if I could my weekends are still devoted to this hellish job, because it is my sole source of income. There is a point to all this, but it has already been made to anyone that should be reading it. I am not a person who experiences emotion in any noticeable form for the most part. But I am hurt, both by actions and by words in this case. Why didn't I say something sooner?, you ask me? I did. I have been saying something for the past month and a half with the apparent misconception that someone, anyone, was listening. And it hurts, to know that I am alone, that I have no brothers.

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