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10.02.2005

 
As you may have noticed there has been some major overhauling done here. Or, if you have your computer set to 800x600 you haven't noticed much because you can only see a tiny fraction of this page. I don't want you to see it anyway you nearsighted weenie. If you have any suggestions you can leave them in the comments section and I will promptly ignore them because I am stubborn and solitary and I don't need any of you, but please don't leave as I am afraid of abandonment.

On a heavier note: who came up with cheese? I mean, how in fuck did it get invented? Someone's just sitting around one day with some cows thinking, "Ya know, I think I'll let this milk spoil and add some bacteria-culture just to spice things up, see what happens. That'll show Farmer Pinchley that I'm no stuffed shirt. And maybe it will draw the eye of Madame Pinchley, because she is ye olde foxe." I doubt it went that way. I pose this question with full intention of going to look it up once I'm done writing about it, and with the knowledge that I soar several levels higher in geekhood because of it. But you know what, I like cheese. In fact, I love cheese. I enjoy the hell out of some cheese. I have Havarti and Camembert at the house, and neither one will last more than a week. Then I will move on to Edam, and maybe a good Buttercheese. Next will come a Feta and a Gruyere. I had Brie for Labor Day. Maybe a Baby Swiss sometime soon. There are a ton of cheeses and my mouth has only ever disliked one: Blue Cheese. I hate Blue Cheese for it's taste, texture, and the fact that it looks almost exactly like my grandfather's feet. Truth be told, I would sooner bite into one of his pale, blue-veined ankles than I would a giant hunk of Blue Cheese.

There's always one to hate out of the many. I love cake more than my life itself, but I loathe Carrot Cake. Putting a vegetable in a fucking cake is a crime against nature worse than Judy Garland ever being allowed to procreate, and worse than that ungodly offspring not being torn into pieces and nailed to a burning, upside-down cross before it could ever gargle out the opening lines of Cabaret. When I hate something you better damn well realize that it knows it's being hated.

Regardless, I love cheese, and I love cake, and now I'm going to learn about both of them in the geekiest way possible, because it's what I do.

And a quick message for those of you in 800x600 in case you've gotten this far:

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